Sick illusions. We are trapped!
And so for the decades I kept going to work, coming home, paying my bills, eating, sleeping and occasionally treating myself with a new gadget or a little holiday abroad.. I thought I did a very good job until the day I broke down..
To cut the long story short, the truth was revealed to me. My life turned out to be nothing but Sick illusions. I was totally disconnected from my true self, ignoring my inner voice, suppressing my true feelings and replacing my own mind with that of others. I did not know who I was anymore!
Again, to cut it short, I finally realised that it was all my own fault.. The reality I was living in was a physical manifestation of my own thoughts and actions. THIS WAS A LIFE-CHANGING REVELATION! When we stop blaming others and finally take matters in our own hands, guess what - the magic happens - because whatever happens next is also up to us.
So I made the decision to leave “the Noise” (the Society) and go travel as this was something I always wanted to do. It was something that I strongly resonated with at that time as I had suspicions that the physical travelling had something to do with my inner (spiritual) exploration. As soon as I started the engine - all those negative influences that come from outside - collective thinking, values, norms, terms, labels, standards and all the other crap became weaker and weaker, and the further I drove into the unknown the more I was able to let go..
Again, to cut it short, during my first 39 days into travelling I experienced the most intense, disturbing emotions and feelings in my entire life, only to understand later that it was the “Breaking through” stage in my Spiritual journey where i had to face my fears (mainly regarding to what is and is not Normal), fight my inner demons and destroy my old beliefs ruthlessly one by one, one by one … it was time of clearing out the old in order to free the space for something new to enter. In the same time the appetite for life pushed me further into my travels, I wanted to see more, do more, live more, feel more.. The more I followed my crazy callings the more I challenged my mind to take life differently than I was used to. And the more I allowed this to happen, I could feel that something really giant was about explode within me, something that I had suppressed for so long, something, if not released, otherwise would kill me.
And so i did, and, to my surprise, the feared Beast was nothing else but the creative energy which I had kept inside a self-made prison within my own stressed out body and mind. This energy, so called Creativity or “Love for life” is the most powerful Universal force which can make us feel alive, bring that sparkle in our eyes and move us through life with ease and “Go with the flow” attitude…
Will I always be travelling and living on the road? Only time will tell, but one is sure - we don’t have to force ourselves into anything which has lost its meaning or feeling “rightness”. We don’t have to stick with one particular thing. Forcing ourselves to do what we don’t like is the biggest danger to our mind preventing growth and creativity, making us feeling trapped and miserable. Change is good! We can move on to something else at any time we desire, in the other words - trust your heart’s guidance and you will find your freedom sooner or later.