MY HEART IS A BITCH

(Archive May, 2019)

Wake up, go to work, eat, sleep, repeat and die..

I’d chosen to travel.. So I’ve stopped for a few days at a local town on the South coast in Spain, and madly fallen in love with this place. VINAROS. The beaches are faultless here with palm trees, cactuses and other tropical plants covering the coastline and streets. Locals are kind and helpful, and take a great pride and joy in their town. They have free gym facilities in the central park and a Saturday market so that anyone can come and sell whatever they like, also a fun fair and an Open mic on the Square. Streets are clean and buildings are covered with a Graffiti art.

The only downside - the lack of public toilets so I had to rely on the one which was ‘miles’ away from the place I’d parked my car to sleep, or otherwise - in the local cafes and shops. Also , as I wasn’t driving around too much, all the batteries on my devises had gone flat and I was struggling to get a wifi connection, because the little local restaurants do not provide with such services. All that and some other stuff got me thinking - Well, if I love this place that much, I might as well find a flat where I can live happily ever after. So I started to research the local rental markets and even learned some Spanish phrases, so that I can communicate with the agencies and other people in order to sort all the matters out..



With these kind of thoughts on my mind I decided to book a hotel for a night so I can properly chill, clear my head out, groom myself and recharge all the batteries. I stayed in a rather humble place which ironically had bars across the windows (apparently that’s a normal thing in Spain, especially in the rooms that are on the ground floor). So I’ve got myself sorted and went to bed and, not wanting to let this idea go, I was writing a “To Do” list in my head, so I waste no time when I wake up.

The morning came.. but not the sunlight as the blinds were still shut. As I opened them, the prison bars were the first thing I saw, threatening to never let me out. I felt so sick, physically and mentally weak. Thought I’m gonna pass out..

As they say - “Morning comes with a new wisdom”, and it did’t take me long to fast-forward myself back to the future and imagine myself stuck in four walls once again.. How depressing!


I suddenly felt this baffling urge to run to my car and give her the biggest hug ever. My home sweet home! But worthless to say that she already knew that my heart is a bitch, which time to times will just continue to wander. But she also knew that , no matter what, I will keep returning home, which in my case, is not a place but rather a feeling.

I know, it doesn’t make sense, but then - what does?..

Wake up, go to work, eat, sleep, repeat and die.. really?!

Love and Peace,



Leila